Prayer for the Hopeless?

I'm really struggling. And if anyone is reading my blog; please take the time to pray for me. I need it. Bad. I'm the only one left who's still single of us 3 kids. And my relationship with God has taken a 180 back to where it was. I don't want to travel in a circle anymore. I really have a hard time buckling down and doing something. Why is that? Why can't I just read the Bible and pray everyday like I want to. I feel utterly worthless. Like what would God want with me? Why would He love me after what I've done to Him? To completely understand what I mean, listen to "Feel the Nails" by Ray Boltz. It kills me everytime.